How to Tell Someone You Love Them
Here at Venus ET Fleur®, although it may sound a tad redundant, we love love. Our stock-in-trade is the flower of love itself, the timeless rose. And while love may be the most celebrated, poetic, and simply enjoyable feelings in the human pantheon of emotions, for this very reason, it can be among the trickiest and most uncomfortable when it comes time to express it. This is why we’re taking the opportunity to help those of you who need a little help getting this message across as gracefully and as sincerely as possible.
Whenever and however you tell someone you love them, our best advice is to be sincere—but how to ensure that your sincerity is received clearly? No one answer exists that we know of, but this guide will explore the many situations in which this dilemma may one day find you.
Our hope in writing this article is not to prescribe any fool-proof words or deeds of love (we don’t believe in them), but simply that the situation finds you prepared!
Without further ado, let’s dive into the proverbial deep end.
The Big One: New Love
Aphorisms, cliches, and no small number of age-old pieces of advice—often contradictory—abound regarding the right and proper time to say “I love you” in a new relationship. Some say after five dates, others counsel that it should be said after two months, and no longer; some urge you not to wait too long, others insist that saying it too early is fatal.
It will come as no surprise to you, however, that every person, and every relationship, is different. Prominent psychologists will affirm that there is no “ideal time” to tell someone you love them for the first time. The answer lies in the state of your relationship, your own feelings, and ultimately your own discretion.
Admitting this fact and the risk inherent in it, how are we to actually do it?
Be Sure of Your Feelings
Unless your partner has already said those three magic words—in which case, you probably don’t need to keep reading this—it can be incredibly daunting to muster up the courage to say them first. At the end of the day, it’s impossible to know how your partner will take these words. The most important thing is that you are assured of your own feelings!
If you’re not sure, if you’re only saying ‘I love you’ to gauge your partner’s interest, then your heart is in it for the wrong reasons. Of vital importance is to personally search your own feelings. Think about them, question them, understand them as fully as possible.
All this contemplation is for the simple reason that, when you say it, you want to really mean it. Otherwise, it might be setting up one or both of you for a hurt down the road.
But if, having taken the proper inward voyage, you find yourself earnestly and confidently in love, then we wish you luck and happiness.
Now onto the tricky business of actually saying it.
The Importance of Where
On this topic, we emphasize the importance of ‘where.’
Perhaps you choose to say ‘I love you’ in public, after a sit-down meal at a nice restaurant, or after a long scenic walk, holding hands in nature. There are also merits to telling your partner you love them in a more intimate, private moment at home alone or in the car ride home after a party or pleasant evening abroad.
Choosing a memorable location for this special admission isn’t make-or-break. It simply increases the likelihood that you and, more importantly, your partner will remember this significant moment long after the words are finally said.
Keep It Simple
Plenty of you may be tempted to lay it on thick, perhaps going so far as to bust out your book of Shakespeare’s sonnets, asking your partner “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” But you needn’t always resort to Elizabethan verse to pledge your sincere affection to your romantic partner (unless, of course, they’re into that sort of thing).
In matters of the heart, and in most matters, we advise you to keep your language plain and sincere. What’s most meaningful and understood to you, more than ornate or antique language, will produce the most profound understanding in your partner.
Provided you’ve done the proper heart-searching, the simple words ‘I love you’ are sure to be felt and appreciated by your partner, no matter the location or time of day they’re spoken.
Don’t Wait Too Long, Just Do It
There is no end to the conventional wisdom associated with the “proper time” to say those three all-important words. Self-purporting love experts make wild claims in every direction. But in our minds, the most truthful answer is the simplest—say it as soon as you feel it.
This can be daunting, as it is only natural to doubt or question one’s own feelings. We do it every day! But this is the point: your partner can only take it how they will take it, and the truth is they may not be ready to say ‘I love you’ back. And though it may seem like the end of the world in the moment, the truth is that relationships are organic. They take time to develop. And simply saying ‘I love you’ as soon as you feel it can open up an important conversation that will develop or clarify your romantic relationship.
So don’t be afraid to say what you really mean. Clarity can never be a bad thing.
A Love More Established
Though first love may be the most difficult and intimidating time to tell someone you love them, it is nowhere near the only time such an expression matters. Whether your relationship is a few years old or a few decades, reminding your dearly beloved that they are, in fact, beloved is vital to the strength of any long-term partnership.
Every single one of you currently in a relationship will know that we have an entire holiday devoted to celebrating love. In the past, we’ve written about some of the most heartfelt gifts with which to express your love for your partner, which can take many forms.
Most traditional and most complementary is, of course, the gift of flowers. Whether the centerpiece of your gift or simply a fragrant token of more splendid things to come, you can’t go wrong with one of our gorgeous Eternity® Rose arrangements. Because our Eternity Roses keep their bloom for an entire year with proper care, your partner will be able to treasure this gesture of love long after it’s made.
Take our radiantly simple Small Square arrangement, which features sixteen vibrant Eternity Roses neatly tucked into one of our elegant square vases. This classic piece will elevate any space with its classic design.
However, not all tributes to your lasting love must be purchased with legal tender. Words of love can be a more potent and memorable gesture of affection than any trifle or trinket. Check out our past article on five romantic card message ideas, which will help to spark your imagination on the perfect verbal tribute of your love. As an aside, any of these will pair quite nicely with a bouquet of fragrant flowers.
Of course, not all love is romantic. Love’s domain is as wide as it is deep, and it contains multitudes. We all have friends whom we dearly love—how do we tell them we love them?
Reminding our friends we love them can be as simple as giving them a call, a friendly text, reminding them how important they are to us. An act of service such as helping someone move can be even more meaningful. And, when all else fails, it’s much easier to simply tell your friend ‘I love you’ than a new partner!
We at Venus ET Fleur, as rose enthusiasts, would be remiss not to add that yellow roses traditionally symbolize platonic affection and gratitude. One of our Le Petit arrangements in vibrant yellow is a wonderful and sweet-smelling token of love and friendship. Set in a luxurious suede vessel inspired by the Parisian hat-box, this charming piece is sure to grace the home or office of your dear friend, radiating joy all the while.
Depending on the context of your relationship, saying ‘I love you’ can represent a towering and anxiety-inducing challenge, or it can be the simplest statement in the world. As we’ve said, truth and sincerity are all you really need to make sure that this important admission hits home.
We hope this brief guide on the subject has been some help to the friends and lovers out there looking to speak their hearts.
Best of luck from all of us at Venus ET Fleur!